Seeing the Light

I haven’t always had issues with driving. .I did from age sixteen to age twenty-two. The reason why I didn’t like driving is it made me anxious.

When I was twenty-two years old, I was working seasonal jobs and had to depend on others for rides to and from work. I hadn’t gotten my driver’s license in high school because that year they had a manual stick shift car and the one time I drove was awful. I quit high school in my junior year of high school and worked instead. I didn’t like depending on people, but I was afraid to drive because every time I drove the anxiety got worse. I couldn’t go to the mall because of anxiety, and I was a mess.

 My brother had been gone for over a year then after committing suicide the previous year. My relationship with God was pretty good then in my opinion, even though I thought Jesus was lesser than God and didn’t have as much power. I loved Jesus but didn’t understand anything about Him.

One morning while I was getting ready for work, I had just taken a shower and was on my way upstairs. I had a cup of coffee in one hand and was standing at the foot of the stairs to go up to my room. I turned on the hall light and I remember I looked up and, all I could see was white light then it disappeared. When I saw the light I couldn’t see the stairs, all I saw was light. I looked again and everything looked normal and I wasn’t seeing spots like the kind you see when looking at a light bulb. I didn’t really think too much about it and climbed the stairs. But all day at work I thought about the vision. What was God trying to tell me? It reminded me of the dream Jacob had in the book of Genesis. Jacob saw a stairway to heaven with angels going up and down the stairs in his dream. I had asked God to let me see what Jesus looks like on my birthday one year, so maybe that was His answer. As the bible says Jesus is the light of the world. I think I literally saw that light of Jesus Christ

John 8:12 NIV Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness but will have the light of life.”

John 9:5 NIV “While I am in the world, I am the light of the world.”

Psalms 18:28 NIV Lord, You keep my lamp burning; My God turns my darkness into light.

Isaiah 60:1 NIV “Arise, shine, for your light has come, and the glory of the Lord rises upon you.”

1 John 1:5 This is the message we have heard from Him and declare to you: God is light and in Him there is no darkness at all.

As the new year started, I started feeling peace come over me. It would start at the top of my head and wash down over me. It was like God had a bucket full of peace and He was pouring it over me. It happened many times over the next three and a half months. Which reminds me of the bible verse in Joel 2:28-32 where it talks about God pouring out His Spirit over people in the last days and people would dream dreams and see visions.

My job had ended in December, and I tried to file unemployment in January. I spoke to a man who had answered the phone I told him about my situation. I told I didn’t drive and there were no taxis, or busses where I lived so I would have a harder time finding a job than most people because I depended on people for transportation. He was not sympathetic at all. He said I had to get my driver’s license and my claim was denied.

At first, I didn’t know what I was going to do, then I had an idea to hire a driving instructor. I looked up instructors in the phone book and called and found one I could afford. I hired the instructor and started driving with her not long after. As I drove more, I became more confident except for parallel parking. I was terrible at it.

On the day I took my test in March, I prayed all day that whoever tested me would not make me parallel park. God heard that prayer. I passed the first time and the man said to me: “I don’t know why you waited so long.” I was ecstatic because I felt so free! I wouldn’t have to depend on people driving me around and I could get a job and drive myself.  Don’t ever think God doesn’t hear your prayers. Sometimes He answers right away, sometimes it takes a while, and sometimes He says no. But He always hears us. He is always with you wherever you are.