MKR Prodigal Daughter Christian Perspectives from a Prodigal

Category: god

  • I Experienced God’s Wrath As A Pagan, Then He Saved Me

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    I have experienced God’s awe-inspiring everlasting love and God’s wrath. This is the story of when I experienced God’s wrath as an unbeliever in 1997

    When I didn’t believe in Jesus and was worshipping pagan gods and goddesses and practicing witchcraft, I experienced God’s wrath. I was terrified when He poured out His wrath on me that day. After praying the Lord’s prayer and others, and asking God to help me and forgive me, His wrath finally subsided. After I got home the next day after driving 24 hours, I threw out all of my occult books, crystals, and jewelry.

    Feeling God’s wrath was terrifying and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. When I experienced God’s wrath He was fed up with me and my sins. I had it coming to me, and I deserved it.

    After that experience I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that Jesus is coming back soon. But one thing I remember is, when I was driving through what felt like heaven on earth after God relented on his wrath, I saw a sign on a church that said, “Prepare to Meet Your God.” Those words are in one of the verses in the Book of Amos in the Old Testament. I suggest everyone read it.

    That morning when I when I woke up to hearing God yell at me, and it was like I had entered another dimension or had entered a portal. I can’t describe it, but I was terrified. I couldn’t breathe right and I was coughing a lot. My throat was burning and so was my chest. I saw rainbow-colored beams of light that were coming out my chest, and that light went on forever. All I felt was fear and I felt like I was surrounded by evil. I called local churches and asked them to pray for me. It was a Friday and a lot of the churches I called were closed that day. I had to get away from that feeling and had to get out of the house. Then I started driving and I didn’t know where I was going but I was praying the whole time. I drove all day and all night.

    The next morning, I was still driving and I ended up taking an exit named X that led me to a town somewhere. I didn’t know where I was but after I took that exit it was like I had driven into hell on earth. I was trying to find a way out and came across a park named Performance Park and I drove through it. After I drove through it the scenery seemed nicer and the sun was shining. I still could not find my way out though to get back on the highway and drove around some more. Finally, I came to another park. This park was named Endurance Park, I could have turned around in this park, but I drove through it. Now things seemed even better, but I still could not find a way to drive out of this town. Then I came across another park. It was named the Court Park, and I drove into that park. I saw a man wearing a white shirt who had blonde hair and he was looking out the window of a brown brick building. I had to turn around in a driveway near that building and as soon as I left that park, I felt like I was in heaven on earth. All the music on my radio was about Jesus. Then I heard a man say on the radio they need teachers in China.

    I felt like my car was hovering, and it would have been impossible to get in a car accident there because it was so easy to drive. As I drove around enjoying myself, I knew things. I knew Jesus was there, but I couldn’t see Him because He was physically somewhere else. I also knew how many prayers you prayed while on the old earth determined how much money you had here on the new earth. I finally found a way out of that place and drove back onto the highway. I saw a sign for a big city that is in a different state from where I live and there is no city or town with that name in the state I live in. I knew I could drive anywhere I wanted to go on that road, even Hawaii! I thought things would stay like heaven on earth, but not long after driving on the highway I saw a billboard for vodka and heard a Rolling Stones song on the radio. I knew I was no longer on the new heavenly earth.

    When I finally drove home, I went to sleep and slept for a long time. I threw out every book I had on the occult, and buried all the crystals, stones, and jewelry.. I knew Jesus was coming back and I felt compelled to tell everyone I met when I worked as a temporary staffing person during that time.

    I wasted a lot of money and time on the new age and occult, and everything I learned was a lie straight from satan. But the thing is, I chose to go down that path, no one forced me to do it. Everyone has the free will to choose between evil and good. Please don’t get caught believing the enemy’s lies before it is too late. The outcome will not be good, and you will regret it, because after you die there is no mercy to those who are on same path I was on. It is final and there is no turning back then.

  • Seeing the Light

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    I haven’t always had issues with driving. .I did from age sixteen to age twenty-two. The reason why I didn’t like driving is it made me anxious.

    When I was twenty-two years old, I was working seasonal jobs and had to depend on others for rides to and from work. I hadn’t gotten my driver’s license in high school because that year because the school had a manual stick shift car and the one time I drove was awful. I quit high school in my junior year of high school and worked instead. I didn’t like depending on people, but I was afraid to drive because every time I drove the anxiety got worse. I couldn’t go to the mall because of anxiety, and I was a mess.

     In 1987 my brother had been gone for over a year then after committing suicide the previous year. My relationship with God was pretty good then in my opinion, even though I thought Jesus was lesser than God and didn’t have as much power. I loved Jesus but didn’t understand anything about Him.

    One morning while I was getting ready for work, I had just taken a shower and was on my way upstairs. I had a cup of coffee in one hand and was standing at the foot of the stairs to go up to my room. I turned on the hall light, and I looked up and, all I could see was white light then it disappeared. When I saw the light I couldn’t see the stairs, all I saw was light. I looked again and everything looked normal and I wasn’t seeing spots like the kind you see when looking at a light bulb. I didn’t really think too much about it and climbed the stairs. But all day at work I thought about the vision. What was God trying to tell me? It reminded me of the dream Jacob had in the book of Genesis. Jacob saw a stairway to heaven with angels going up and down the stairs in his dream. I had asked God to let me see what Jesus looks like on my birthday one year, so maybe that was His answer. As the bible says Jesus is the light of the world and I think I literally saw that light of Jesus Christ

    John 8:12 NIV Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness but will have the light of life.”

    John 9:5 NIV “While I am in the world, I am the light of the world.”

    Psalms 18:28 NIV Lord, You keep my lamp burning; My God turns my darkness into light.

    Isaiah 60:1 NIV “Arise, shine, for your light has come, and the glory of the Lord rises upon you.”

    1 John 1:5 This is the message we have heard from Him and declare to you: God is light and in Him there is no darkness at all.

    As the new year started, I started feeling peace come over me. It would start at the top of my head and wash down over me. It was like God had a bucket full of peace and He was pouring it over me. It happened many times over the next three and a half months. Which reminds me of the bible verse in Joel 2:28-32 where it talks about God pouring out His Spirit over people in the last days and people would dream dreams and see visions.

    My job had ended in December, and I tried to file unemployment in January. I spoke to a man who had answered the phone I told him about my situation. I told I didn’t drive and there were no taxis, or busses where I lived so I would have a harder time finding a job than most people because I depended on people for transportation. He was not sympathetic at all. He said I had to get my driver’s license and my claim was denied.

    At first, I didn’t know what I was going to do so prayed and asked God to help me. Then I had an idea to hire a driving instructor so I looked up instructors in the phone book and called one of them listed and found one I could afford. I hired the instructor and started driving with her not long after. As I drove more, I became more confident except for parallel parking. I was terrible at it.

    On the day I took my test in March, I prayed all day that whoever tested me would not make me parallel park. God heard that prayer. I passed the first time and the man said to me: “I don’t know why you waited so long.” I was ecstatic because I felt so free! I wouldn’t have to depend on people driving me around and I could get a job and drive myself. 

    Then in 2010 I hit a steel power pole head on when the roads were glare ice, and I thought I was going to die. The car was totaled and I was barely left with a scratch from the airbags deploying. God kept me safe, but for some reason the anxiety I felt when driving I was younger came back unfortunately. I keep praying God will take it away and I believe some day he will.

    Don’t ever think God doesn’t hear your prayers. Sometimes He answers right away, sometimes it takes a while, and sometimes He says no. But He always hears us. He is always with you wherever you are.

  • The Holy Spirit Spoke to Me

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    One night I prayed to God that God would protect me. Then I laid down for a little while and just rested. I heard the following bible verse in my spirit: “Jesus is my strength and my shield.” After I heard that I immediately got up and went to my computer to look up the verse. The verse is Psalm 28:7, and it said, “The Lord is my strength and my shield.” The only thing that was different was God’s title. But Jesus was God on earth, He is God incarnate and He is God resurrected from the dead.

    What other god sacrificed His son for people because he wants to be with them in heaven? What other god changed the world so much? What other god is continually healing and providing? What other god is constantly is creating? What other god loves you and only wants the best for you? What god gives you peace? What god calls you, his child? What other god rose from the dead after being dead for three days? I have studied a lot of different religions, and I can’t ever remember reading about any other god but God of the Christians calls people His children and loves them. Not in Hinduism, not in Buddhism, not in Islam, not in Greek mythology not Egyptian in mythology No other gods loves us like the God the Father

  • Tragedy Strikes

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    When I was 21 years old my brother committed suicide, because the girl he had asked to marry him turned him down. There wasn’t much warning when he did it. There was about a week when he was really suicidal, and my parents didn’t tell me what was going on until the day before it happened. I wish they would have told me sooner maybe I could have talked to him. We were not getting along well then, so I didn’t say anything, which I really regret. But the one thing I did do was pray.

    I had a feeling he was going to really kill himself, so I prayed and prayed and prayed. I prayed every prayer I could find in my grandma’s New Marian Missal which was an old Catholic daily mass book from the 1950s because I didn’t own a bible. I prayed all day and all night until 11 pm, then I went to bed. I wasn’t praying that he wouldn’t take his life, I prayed for his soul. I feel guilty, because I should have prayed that he wouldn’t take his life.

    That night in the middle of the night I awoke to Jesus speaking to me. He said to me, “I prayed your brother would be filled with the Holy Spirit.” After hearing that I knew my brother was dead and wasn’t in hell, because when Jesus prays for us it’s God will. i knew when the police came to the door in the morning, why he was there. My mom howled when it finally sunk in for her that my brother was dead.

    If you are contemplating suicide, it’s not worth it. Things won’t always stay the same. Killing yourself is one of the most selfish things you can do to other people. The people that are left behind will be scarred for life and will never be the same. I know, I have been through it with my brother’s and ex-boyfriend’s suicide

    Jesus can change your life if you reach out to Him. Jesus loves you so much He willingly sacrificed himself for you. He didn’t run away from the beatings, whippings, crown of thorns that pierced his head, or the nails that were pounded into his wrists and feet. He knew was going to happen to him, but He didn’t run from it. He died for you and me because He loves us and so we can be right with God. Talk to Jesus. He is waiting to hear from you.

  • Angels On Earth

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    I started worshipping satan the summer I was seventeen. It didn’t last long though and I started in July.  The things that led up to it happened when I was 16 years old and were out of my control and I now believe I was a victim of witchcraft.  I didn’t understand what was going on, and I thought God hated me, was going to damn me to hell, and I didn’t have any other choice. It was during that time I started seeing visions.

    That June before I started following satan, my sister and I used the ouiji board my grandma had and she gave it to my mom. My sister and I used the board once. We started asking questions and got gibberish for answers. I became interested in the occult and witchcraft after we used it. I started reading books about the subject but the more I read about witchcraft, I knew it wasn’t the truth. Witches don’t believe in God or satan. They believe in a variety of different goddesses and gods: idols. I didn’t believe it because I knew that God and satan were both real. I knew that the God of the bible was the real God and that there weren’t any others. I thought God hated me and I was damned to hell, and I had no choice in the matter. I thought I should just worship the enemy because I was going to hell anyway. Yes, I was listening to the enemies lies and I was deceived.

    Even though I was raised catholic I didn’t understand the religion, the rituals, or why I had to memorize prayers when I went to catechism class. Because no one explained things about God and prayer I never prayed or talked to God. Throughout childhood, and my teens I lived as an atheist. I never paid any attention to God. My parents did not talk about God.

    I started having a lot of anxiety then and I also started seeing visions then. The first one was of an unborn baby in the womb that looked almost full term. I saw that one while I was sitting in my friend’s car while she went into Planned Parenthood to get birth control. I knew nothing about partial birth abortions at that time in my life. The next one I saw was of me and a man. That vision had to do with the biblical meaning of marriage. Then I saw the next vision in September. I saw the exact same vision on the night full moon of every month for three months in a row. I would wake up in the middle of the night in extreme pain. The pain would get so bad I could not lie in bed anymore so I would get up and go downstairs to get something to drink and by the time I got downstairs I felt like I was going to pass out, then I would break out in a cold sweat, and then I would faint but not before seeing a vision.

    I didn’t know what the vision was supposed to mean, but I saw the same exact one every full moon for three months in a row. The vision started with me seeing all black, then I would see a dot of gold light that would move in a clockwise circle until it was a perfect circle of gold light like a halo. After the circle was complete, I would faint. Now I think it has to do with the third hour, specifically the third hour when Jesus died after he was crucified.

    Soon I started dreading full moon. I didn’t want to wake up in pain again, but I didn’t know what to do either because I didn’t even think of praying or that God would help me.  In November I saw a personal ad in the newspaper. It was a personal ad from a man who said he was spiritual and looking for a spiritual woman and there was a number written under his personal ad. The number was a blind box number the newspaper used so people could respond by sending letters to the newspaper, then the letter was forwarded to him. I sent him a letter and a photo, but I have no clue as to what I wrote in the letter now. He called after about two weeks, and we talked for a short period of time. I don’t remember our whole conversation now, but I know I had told him I worshipped the enemy. I told him about the visions and the pain that happened on the full moon.  In the want ads in that day’s newspaper there a notice that said to pray 3 three different prayers 3 times. I asked him if he thought I should pray them and he said he didn’t think it was a bad idea.

    About a week later I got a letter in the mail from Jonathan, the man in the personal ad I had sent a letter to. He wrote I was on the wrong path, and worshipping satan was just a negative self-fulfilling prophecy.

    I prayed on the night of the full moon in December. I stumbled through the prayers and didn’t think God would even hear me. In the morning when I woke up, I realized I didn’t wake up in pain the middle of the night and I didn’t see any visions or faint. God had heard my prayer and answered it. It changed my life. After that night, I started praying those prayers every day for protection from evil and I never left the house without praying for protection. I would read bible verses in my grandma’s old catholic daily mass bible every morning when I woke up. I had no regular bible. I also started talking to God all the time.

    I wonder if Jonathan was an angel on earth. I don’t mean a heavenly angel but a human doing God’s will because he was at the right place at the right time. After that happened to me, I started asking God to help me be in the right place at the right time.

    I know God can use anyone to make a difference in someone’s life. Maybe someday you will be someone’s angel on earth.

  • The Everlasting Love of God

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    God let me know how much he loves me one night when I was nineteen or twenty. I was sleeping and a had strange dream and when I woke up in the middle of the night, I didn’t want to open my eyes, because I thought I was dead. I felt so loved and so peaceful. It was almost like God was giving me hug and making me feel the love he had for me. There is nothing like that love! That is the presence of God. God’s very being is love.

    I was hearing the still, small voice of God’s Holy Spirit speaking to me saying “open your eyes.” I didn’t want to but when finally did, I was in my bedroom and alive and well. The voice wasn’t audible, it was more of an inner knowing voice that I was hearing in my spirit. It wasn’t my conscious because it seemed like the voice was male. It’s hard to describe the voice, but once you hear it you know it.

    I didn’t want to move because I didn’t want the feeling of unconditional love to go away. It is hard to describe God’s love for us. In fact, I can’t because it’s indescribable. You need to experience it for yourself to be able to understand it. One thing I can say is no one loves you that much in this world. Not your mom, dad, brother, sister, friends, boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife, or child. No One. If you would take the love of a mother for her child and multiply it by a million, it still wouldn’t compare.

    God loves us so much. There is nothing he wouldn’t do to let us know. Jesus loves us so much that he died for us! In the beginning when God created man and woman and they were tempted by satan and gave into that temptation and committed the first sin. That separated them from the close relationship they had with God. To get that relationship back with God, God sent Jesus to earth to show people how much He loves them. Jesus showed them the way to get close to Him again so they wouldn’t be separated anymore.

    Jesus died a brutal death and shed his blood, for no reason other than the fact that He loves us. He sacrificed himself willingly. He did nothing to deserve death. He only helped people while on earth by healing and doing miracles and taught the way to God the Father. After Jesus died and was dead for three days, He came back to life like He had foretold, and many people saw Him and ate with Him. After he died, he spent forty days on earth then He ascended into the sky and He’s in heaven today and will return some day in the same way and at the same place He left.

    You can know Jesus as a close friend, someone closer than brother. You can experience His love and peace. All you have to do is ask him to come into your life and forgive you for all the wrongs you have done throughout your life and tell him you are sorry for them. No matter what you have done, God won’t reject you.

    I want to be a better vessel for God, so when He wants someone to experience that love and peace it would transfer from me to the person standing next to me by the power of the Holy Spirit. It is possible to do, and it reminds me part of verse 5 in Psalm 23: “You anoint my head with oil, and my cup overflows.” To me that means being anointed with the Holy Spirit and His peace is overflowing and sharing God’s peace through the Holy Spirit flowing through you to people you meet.

    It’s not an easy road to be living a life of sin. Jesus promised us that his way is the better way. That road might be difficult at times, but Jesus said, come to me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.

    http://www.needhim.org