In the past I have written about how I didn’t think the Catholic church was teaching the truth. I was adamant that people should not be asking Mary, the mother of Jesus Christ or the saints to pray for them.
There is a lot of misguided teaching out there in You Tube land about Mary and the Catholic church. I have gravitated towards those sermons in the past.
Some people say and write things are against the catholic church and Mary with their words on social media platforms and in sermons. They cause division and I used to be one of those people. We don’t need any more division in the church. There is enough division in the world.
So today I am apologizing publicly to the Catholic church, Mary the mother of Jesus and all the saints.
I pray God protects me from false teachings from now on and that He gives me a firm foundation in the truth.
I pray every day. I also look at my blog stats every day, and I can tell which country the people reading my blog are living in. I know in some of the countries, people are being persecuted for their faith terribly by their own governments and family members because they believe in Jesus. I cannot imagine what you are going through because you love Jesus. I pray for your safety and protection and just wanted to let you know I care.
I thought I would share some of the prayers I memorized as a child when the Catholic nuns taught me how to pray at church summer school for a week.
Glory Be Prayer: All glory and honor be to God the Father, Jesus Christ the Son and the Holy Spirit, as it was in the beginning, is now, and will be forever, Amen.
Our Father Prayer: Our Father who is in heaven, hallowed be Your name, Your kingdom come, and Your will be done on earth, as it is in heaven. Give us today, our daily bread, and forgive for our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us, do not let us fall into temptation but deliver us from evil, for the kingdom, the power and the glory are Yours now and forever, Amen.
Hail Mary Prayer: Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with you. Blessed are you among women and blessed is the fruit of your womb Jesus Christ. Holy Mary Mother of God, pray for us sinners now, and at the hour of our death Amen.
Divine Mercy Conclusion Prayer: Holy God, Holy Mighty One, Holy Immortal One, have mercy on us and have mercy on everyone in the world, In the name Of Jesus Christ I pray, Amen.
When I was 21 years old my brother committed suicide, because the girl he had asked to marry him turned him down. There wasn’t much warning when he did it. There was about a week he was really suicidal and my parents didn’t tell me what was going on until the day before it happened. I wish they would have told me sooner maybe I could have talked to him. We were not getting along well then, so I didn’t say anything. But one thing I did do was pray.
I had a feeling he was going to do something he was going to take his life, so I prayed and prayed and prayed. I prayed every prayer I could find in my grandma’s New Marian Missal which was an old Catholic daily mass book from the 1950s. I prayed all day and all night until 11 p.m. then I went to bed. I wasn’t praying that he wouldn’t take his life, I prayed for his soul. I feel guilty because I should have prayed that he wouldn’t take his life.
That night in the middle of the night I awoke to Jesus speaking to me. He said to me, “I prayed your brother would be filled with the Holy Spirit.” After hearing that I knew my brother was dead and he was in heaven.
The next morning when the policeman came to the door, I knew why he was there. My parents were so upset, but I didn’t cry. I knew my brother was in heaven because when Jesus prays, He gets what He wants. And people filled with the Holy Spirit go to heaven.
I don’t know what my brothers last words to God were, but I think he might have asked to be forgiven and that is all it takes. God is very merciful, and He forgives when you ask. Ask Him. He can change your life if you reach out to Him. Jesus loves you so much He willingly sacrificed himself. He didn’t run away from what he knew was going to happen to him. He died for you and me so we can be right with God. Talk to Jesus. He is waiting to hear from you.
It isn’t only the Catholic church that prays to saints. The Greek Orthodox church, Coptic Chistian church in Egypt, the Syrian Christian Church, Armenian church and the Ethiopian church pray to the saints. All those churches believe that saints in heaven can pray for them. which is asking for saints to pray for them and praying with them
Martin Luther had prayed to the saints but then changed his mind. John Calvin who started the Calvinism movement was against praying to saints. He believed in predestination which I do NOT believe in. I don’t believe God predestines some people to go to heaven and some people to go to hell. If that is the case, how do you explain free will. God wants all His children to go to heaven, and He gives all of us that chance.
Some modern mainstream Evangelical protestant churches talk about how the Catholic Church is leading people astray. And they say that praying to the dead is a sin. The reason why they think Catholics and other denominations are sinning is because King Saul consulted a witch and asked her to contact the dead to know the future. And that is NOT what Catholic’s or any other denominations that aren’t protestant who ask saints to pray for them are doing.
I have dealt with physical pain since I was a teenager. I started getting terrible pain in my stomach when I was fifteen years old. I did not know what was causing it. I had a test done at the hospital that consisted of drinking a white, chalky, terrible tasting liquid and getting an x-ray of my stomach. The doctor didn’t find anything wrong with me. Years later, I heard about irritable bowel syndrome, known as IBS, which is what I have.
Years later in my forties, I developed excruciating pain in my thumbs, near my wrist from work. For years the doctors told me I had tendonitis but never did an x-ray. After dealing with that pain for 4 years, I was adamant about getting an x-ray. and it showed arthritis. Then my shoulder started hurting and I had a good doctor then, and she ordered an x-ray. I had arthritis in my shoulder.
I fell down the stairs in 2021 and as a result of that I ended up with a sprained right ankle and a terrible case of sciatica on the left side of my lower back, hip, and leg. It was the worst pain I think I ever had. I had to walk on my sprained ankle because I couldn’t use crutches because I couldn’t put weight on my left leg. I was miserable.
I tried everything; physical therapy, chiropractor, and drugs, but nothing took the pain away completely. I did a lot of praying for healing, but I still deal with pain. I am not mad about it now, but after five months of having really bad sciatica pain I did get mad at God and yelled at him when the pain was so bad. Then I asked to be forgiven because I felt bad. There I was yelling at God, and I don’t even deserve Jesus.
Now I know better than to get mad at God and yell at Him. I take comfort in the fact Jesus understands our pain. When He was whipped and beaten and nailed to the cross it was very painful for Him. He has experienced extreme pain, and He understands how we feel.
Jesus went through everything we have gone through in our lives. Some people have experienced worse things than others. He was homeless for three years. He experienced pain, hunger, depression, stress, anxiety just like everybody else. There is a medical condition that is extremely rare, that people go through when they are under extreme fear or stress where their body sweats blood called, hematidrosis. Jesus sweat blood the night before He was crucified because he was so anxious and felt so much stress.
I fell down after I missed the last step when I was walking down the stairs without the light on and I didn’t have my glasses on saturday night when it was starting to get dark. I ended up landing on my hands and knees. A first my right foot hurt, so I wore my compression wrap on it, and that helped a lot. I have a big bruise on my knee, but it doesn’t hurt to walk. My Sacroiliac (S1) joint which is the joint that connects the back to the pelvis bone hurts a lot. I have bilateral arthritis in it anyway and most times it does not bother me. I experience sciatica pain on the left side of my lower body most of the time. But right now, the lowest part of my back hurts the worst and it is chronic pain.
When I am in pain, I think God is punishing me for my sins. Then I wonder if He even loves me at all. Back in 2022 when my sciatica pain was at its worst I yelled at God and called Him a liar and rejected the love God had shown me when I was in my early twenties. I think I said to God “you don’t love me.” Then I repented after that, but it’s like God put a block in my mind so now I can barely remember that love now.
Another thing happened a month or two later in 2022. I decided to pray a prayer of protection over this home. I looked up prayers for protection over a home online, and I found a bunch of them, and I prayed them out loud. As soon as I was done praying one of the prayers, I felt the presence of Jesus. His presence was so strong and I felt so peaceful, I couldn’t have worried if I tried. That feeling stayed all afternoon and most of the night. It was so wonderful. I thought, “this has got to be what heaven feels like.”
I know what it says in the bible about God loving us. I know Jesus would have gone through the torture he endured and the crucifixion just for me, but there are times I doubt. I have had depression and anxiety for years and the physical pain just makes it worse. I take medications for anxiety and depression, but the antidepressant I take makes me feel emotionally numb most of the time and I rarely cry now. The last time I really cried was when I was mad at God and yelled at him and called him a liar.
Jesus gave me a gift when He let me feel his presence of peace so strong. I can remember that presence, and I need to cling to it. When He was being whipped, beaten, and crucified, His pain was a lot worse than what I am going through. But He understands our pain and I take comfort in that.
This year I didn’t know what to give up for Lent. First, I thought I will read the bible more every day, then I changed my mind. I finally decided the day after Lent started and I gave up Facebook. I thought would be hard for me to do so I have been praying for strength and so far, it’s been ok. It’s difficult in some ways, but easy in other ways. I have had a love-hate relationship with Facebook for quite a while. I feel less angry and less stressed because I have not gone on it. Recently, Facebook had not been good for my mental health
I have one friend who is giving up all kinds of things, so I said to him, “What are trying to do become a saint?” I could never give up all the things that he gave up for Lent. I have friends who are not catholic and they are not giving anything up. I have a friend who is Methodist she still hasn’t decided, but it is better late than never to start.
One night I prayed to Saint Joseph the step father of Jesus and asked also asked God for protection, then I laid down for a little while. I heard the following bible verse in my spirit: “Jesus is my strength and my shield.” After I heard that I immediately got up and went to my computer to look up the verse. The verse is Psalm 28:7, and it said, “The Lord is my strength and my shield.” The only thing that was different was God’s title. But Jesus was God on earth, He is God incarnate and He is God resurrected from the dead.
What other god sacrificed himself for people because he wants to be with them in heaven? What other god changed the world so much? What other god is continually healing and providing? What other god is constantly is creating? What other god loves you and only wants the best for you? What god gives you peace? What god calls you, his child? What other god rose from the dead after being dead for three days? I have studied a lot of different religions, and I can’t ever remember reading about any other god but God of the Christians calls people His children and loves them. Not in Hinduism, not in Buddhism, not in Islam, not in Greek mythology not Egyptian in mythology No other gods loves us like the Father God.
God let me know how much he loves me one night when I was nineteen or twenty. I was sleeping and a had strange dream and when I woke up in the middle of the night, I didn’t want to open my eyes, because I thought I was dead. I felt so loved and so peaceful. It was almost like God was giving me hug and making me feel the love he had for me. There is nothing like that love! That is the presence of God. God’s very being is love.
I was hearing the still, small voice of God’s Holy Spirit speaking to me saying “open your eyes.” I didn’t want to but when finally did, I was in my bedroom and alive and well. The voice wasn’t audible, it was more of an inner knowing voice that I was hearing in my spirit. It wasn’t my conscious because it seemed like the voice was male. It’s hard to describe the voice, but once you hear it you know it.
I didn’t want to move because I didn’t want the feeling of unconditional love to go away. It is hard to describe God’s love for us. In fact, I can’t because it’s indescribable. You need to experience it for yourself to be able to understand it. One thing I can say is no one loves you that much in this world. Not your mom, dad, brother, sister, friends, boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife, or child. No One. If you would take the love of a mother for her child and multiply it by a million, it still wouldn’t compare.
God loves us so much. There is nothing he wouldn’t do to let us know that. Jesus loves us so much that he died for each and every one of us. In the beginning when God created man and woman and when they were tempted by the serpent, they gave into that temptation. They committed the first sin because they chose not to listen to God. That separated them from the close relationship they had with God. To get that relationship back with God, God sent Jesus to earth to show people how much He loves them. Jesus showed them the way to get close to Him again so they wouldn’t be separated anymore.
Jesus died a brutal death and shed his blood, for no reason other than the fact that He loves us. He sacrificed himself willingly. He did nothing to deserve death. He only helped people while on earth by healing and doing miracles and taught the way to God the Father. After Jesus died and was dead for three days, He came back to life like He had foretold, and many people saw Him and ate with Him. After he died, he spent forty days on earth then He ascended into the sky and He’s alive in heaven today and will return some day in the same way and at the same place He left to judge the earth.
You can know Jesus as a close friend, someone closer than brother. You can experience His love and peace. All you have to do is ask him to come into your life and forgive you for all the wrongs you have done throughout your life and tell him you are sorry for them. No matter what you have done, God won’t reject you.
Four years and four days after my brother killed himself, my ex-boyfriend killed himself just like my brother did. He recorded himself on a cassette tape, drove out in the country and shot himself. I was at work when one of my friends called me. I was distraught, and left work early that day.
I really fell apart at home and cried and cried. I couldn’t believe it. I had just finally started getting over my brother’s death. I said to God the day before my ex-boyfriend died, “I hope I never have to go through that again.” My ex-boyfriend had gone my brother’s funeral, and he said to me that night that he couldn’t understand why anyone would want to commit suicide.
My ex had called me over a year before his death wanting me to help him quit drinking. He wanted to go out with me again, but he had already left me twice for the same girl, so I did not want to date him again. I wanted to be friends, like we were before we started dating. I agreed to go to a movie in the afternoon that Sunday. On the way home I don’t remember us talking. When he dropped me off, I was going to turn to say goodbye and he looked so hopeful, like he wanted to come in the house or get a kiss. I didn’t say anything but just shook my head no and got out of the car. He never called again. I saw him at a local bar drinking by himself six months later when my friends and I went out one night, and he looked awful.
I tried to go to his wake with a friend and I remember screaming in her car that I couldn’t believe that he had killed himself. I went into the wake, and I remember talking to his brother, then turned and looked at one of his friends and started crying and left. I worked on the day of his funeral because I couldn’t handle going to the funeral.
After he died, I got mad at God, and I was mad at my ex-boyfriend. I decided to give up on God because he didn’t prevent the suicide. I thought if God can’t protect me, I will protect myself! I started reading about new age spirituality, witchcraft and the occult. I used to read palms and I also practiced witchcraft. I had a warped view of Jesus. I didn’t think of him as powerful as God. I thought of him as less than God. I tried to worship pagan gods but still believed in God and included God in my witchcraft along with a Mother Goddess who I saw as the spirit of wisdom that I had read about in new age and gnostic writings. I am sure I offended God. I thought the passage in the bible about John the Baptist as Elijah was proof of reincarnation. I didn’t think of Jesus as God who walked on earth in the flesh. I thought he was less than God. I didn’t understand his sacrifice. It didn’t make any sense to me. Why did he have to die? I thought His death was a waste. I didn’t understand the resurrection.
It wasn’t until much later that I gave my life to Jesus, but before I did I went through some really dark times. Even after I gave my life to Jesus it was not easy. I carried around a lot of guilt and couldn’t accept the fact that God had forgiven me of all the bad things I had done in my life. Getting into new age spirituality, practicing witchcraft, reading palms and rejecting him, were some of the worst things I have done in my life. I cried out to God so I could feel His Presence. It took a long time for me to feel forgiven. But I know I have been forgiven, and I have felt His Presence.
Know you can be forgiven of even the worst sins. No matter what you have done, God will forgive you if you ask Him. No matter you have done what he will forgive you. He isn’t some big meanie in the sky out to get you, that’s what the enemy wants you to think. The enemy the devil hates our guts because we are made in God’s image. God is peace and love. If you want to know what God the Father is like, look at Jesus. And the best way to get to know them is by reading the bible and talking to them.
MKR Prodigal Daughter Christian Perspectives from a Prodigal 