Angels On Earth

I started worshipping satan the summer I was seventeen. It didn’t last long though and I started in July.  The things that led up to it happened when I was 16 years old and were out of my control and I now believe I was a victim of witchcraft.  I didn’t understand what was going on, and I thought God hated me, was going to damn me to hell, and I didn’t have any other choice. It was during that time I started seeing visions.

That June before I started worshipping satan, my sister and I used the ouiji board my grandma had and she gave it to my mom. My sister and I used the board once. We started asking questions and got gibberish for answers. I became interested in the occult and witchcraft after we used it. I started reading books about the subject but the more I read about witchcraft, I knew it wasn’t the truth. Witches don’t believe in God or satan. They believe in a variety of different goddesses and gods: Idols. I didn’t believe it because I knew that God and satan were both real. I knew that the God of the bible was the real God and that there weren’t any others. I thought God hated me and I was damned to hell, and I had no choice in the matter. I thought I should just worship the enemy because I was going to hell anyway. Yes, I was listening to the enemies lies and I was deceived.

Even though I was raised catholic I didn’t understand the religion, the rituals, or why I had to memorize prayer when I went to catechism class, because no one explained what they meant. I never prayed or talked to God. Throughout childhood, and my teens I lived as an agnostic. I never paid any attention to God. My parents did not talk about God, and they never prayed with us at meals or bedtime.

I started having a lot of anxiety then and I also started seeing visions then. The first one was of an unborn baby in the womb that looked almost full term. I saw that one while I was sitting in my friend’s car while she went into Planned Parenthood to get birth control. I knew nothing about partial birth abortions at that time in my life. The next one I saw was of me and a man. That vision had to do with the biblical meaning of marriage. Then I saw the next vision in September. I saw the exact same vision on each full moon of every month for three months in a row. I would wake up in the middle of the night in extreme pain. The pain would get so bad I could not lie in bed anymore so I would get up and go downstairs to get something to drink and by the time I got downstairs I felt like I was going to pass out then I would break out in a cold sweat and then I would faint but not before seeing a vision.

I didn’t know what the vision was supposed to mean, but I saw the same exact one every time. The vision started with me seeing all black, then I would see a dot of gold light that would move in a clockwise circle until it was a perfect circle of gold light like a halo. After the circle was complete, I would faint. Now I think it has to do with three hours, specifically the third hour when Jesus died after he was crucified.

Soon I started dreading full-moon, I didn’t want to wake up in pain again, but I didn’t know what to do either because I didn’t even think of praying or that God would help me.  In November I saw a personal ad in the newspaper. There was a personal ad from a man who said he was spiritual and looking for a spiritual woman and there was a number written under his personal ad. The number was a blind box number the newspaper used so people could respond by sending letters to the newspaper, then the letter was forwarded to him. He called after about two weeks, and we talked for a short period of time. I don’t remember our whole conversation now, but I know I had told him I worshipped the devil. I told him about the visions and the pain that happened on the full moon.  In the personal ads of that day’s newspaper there was a list of prayers to pray. I asked him if he thought I should pray, and he didn’t think it would be a bad idea.

About a week later I got a letter in the mail from Jonathan, the man in the personal ad I had sent a letter to. He wrote I was on the wrong path, and worshipping satan was just a negative self-fulfilling prophecy.

I prayed on the night of the full moon in December. I stumbled through the prayers and didn’t think God would even hear me. I didn’t wake up in the middle of the night in pain. God had heard my prayer and answered it! It changed my life! After that night, I started praying every day for protection from evil and I never left the house without praying for protection. I also would also read the bible every morning when I got up.

I wonder if Jonathan was an angel on earth. I don’t mean heavenly angel but a human doing God’s will because he was at the right place at the right time. After that happened to me, I started asking God to help me be in the right place at the right time.

I know God can use anyone to make a difference in someone’s life. Maybe someday you will be someone’s angel on earth.