Song by Phillips, Craig, & Dean
Tag: god
-
Healing My Heart
Photo by Min An on Pexels.com I have had a man in my life for 3 1/2 years and I wasn’t sure how he felt about me because he gave me mixed signals. I met him on an online dating site, and he never tried to kiss me, but he always wanted hugs. He wanted to see me and would drive over an hour to see me. He would text me every day. He never told me I looked nice he would just say that he liked my hair. He would always want to pay when we went out to dinner. We got along good and he was a caring and funny Christian man, but I wasn’t sure about his feelings. And that drove me nuts
Today I texted him and asked him if he would ever want to date me and I told him to be honest. He told me he didn’t want to date but just wanted to be friends. I had first brought it up after about 6 months after we met but he said just let things happen naturally. Well, nothing happened, and nothing is not enough for me.
I have had a really hard time dealing with not know how he feels over the 3 1/2 years. I felt so ugly and I wondered what was wrong with me because he gave me mixed signals. Lately it has been the cause of most of my anger. I felt bitter and resentful. I wasn’t mad at God though. I couldn’t figure out why I was so angry, because everything seemed to set me off. Then today while writing a poem it came to me and I finally figured it out. I felt better after that. Then I texted him.
I have never been married, and I am 61 years old. I have had a hang up about the way I look even though I have been told I am beautiful. I think it stems from being overweight as a child and when I had been bulimic. I always wondered why I never met a good guy, and I felt inferior because of it. God thinks I am beautiful, God loves me and He loves you too. You are beautiful and you matter to God. Jesus is the best boyfriend a girl could ever have.
-
Why I Started This Blog and What MKR Stands For
IPhoto by Valeria Boltneva on Pexels.com In July of 202 I had a dream. In my dream I was sent an invitation. The invitation reminded me of a very colorful wedding invitation. It had multicolored flowers on it with gold trim. The words on it said, “You are invited to be a maid’ and signed from God. It was an invitation to work for God. The invitation also said I would have Sundays for a day off.
When I woke up, I was so amazed by my dream. The invitation looked expensive and very pretty. In all my life, I have never seen such a beautiful invitation. It makes sense though because God is my treasure. I long for His peace and presence in my life, and when I don’t feel it, God feels far away.
I was depressed before the dream because I don’t work anymore and felt like I had no purpose because of it. I felt like I wasn’t having any positive effect on anyone because I rarely drive anymore or go places because of anxiety and chronic pain. I didn’t used to be quite this anxious until I got hurt during the pandemic. I couldn’t drive for six months because of pain I was feeling in my right ankle. I couldn’t put my foot on the brake of my car with bad pain. During that time, I had a Christian counselor that didn’t help me at all. In fact, I think he did more harm than good. But writing is therapeutic for me, and I feel better after I write down my feelings. It is a way I can heal my soul and mind from the damage that counselor did.
I decided to write a blog as my way of serving God and sharing God’s love. All of my poetry is about God. MKR is my initials. Thanks for reading.
MK
-
I Saw a UFO
Photo by Derpy CG on Pexels.com When I was eight years old, I saw a UFO. I was out in the garden after supper, with my family that early evening and it was dark outside because it was October. My sister was at some school function, but my brother and parents were there. According to my mother my brother saw it too, but for some reason we never talked about it. My parents didn’t see it because they had their backs turned to it.
I can still remember it plain as day. We were supposed to be cleaning up the garden, but I wasn’t. I was jumping on old overgrown cucumbers and having fun watching them explode under my boots. Then for some reason I looked up and saw something in the sky. I didn’t know what it was, but it wasn’t an airplane. It was a craft of some sort; it was close and low to the ground. It didn’t make any noise, and I was not scared. I had never even heard the phrase UFO at that age.
I had a strange dream that I thought God sent me about a blonde man and a choice during the summer of 1983 when I was eighteen years old. After I woke up from the dream, the top left side of my head hurt so bad, and I felt like I had been hit on the head with a hammer. The pain was awful and lasted over a month. I had never heard of head pain that lasts for a month, and I don’t get migraines either. On a different morning that summer I woke up with three large pinpricks in row and blood dried on my ankle.
In 1989 I was at a bookstore, and I saw a book about alien abduction experiences, it had a demon looking creature on the cover. I bought it and started reading after I got home. It scared me so bad I couldn’t sleep. The book was so detailed and the things that happened to the author were so awful, but I read the entire book anyway. That started my journey on a search for the truth. I didn’t know what to think about aliens. There had been programs about UFOs and movies about alien abductions on television which I had watched.
In 1998 on Easter evening, at dusk I saw another UFO this one was noisy, and it scared me. I hid in the garage while it flew over. I was so scared! My heart was beating rapidly, and I feared what might happen to me.
In 2006 I joined a UFO and alien abduction group. I was also hypnotically regressed back to the times I saw UFO’s and it didn’t help. The strange experiences didn’t stop unfortunately because I wasn’t a Christian. My immediate family members and other relatives have also seen UFO’s.
People have been pondering if aliens are real, and if they are, where do they come from. I think they are fallen angels, and the Nephilim are the disembodied ones who have died are demons. I know they are liars because of my own experience. They told me I used to be Jesus in an in-between awake and a sleep state one morning and they said if I didn’t believe it, I would get throat cancer. Extraterrestrials tell everyone that they abduct that they have been chosen. They are liars. The bible mentions the sons of God, which are fallen angels and I think they are what is known today as aliens. The bible also mentions the ruler of the kingdom of the air is which is Lucifer. And Lucifer is the author of lies. They are God’s enemies, and they are our enemies.
Gensis 6:1-4 New International Version bible
When human beings began increase in number on the earth and were born to them, the sons of God saw that daughters of humans were beautiful, and they married any of them they chose. Then the Lord said, “my spirit will not contend with humans forever, for they are mortal; their days will be one hundred twenty years old.”
The Nephilim were on the earth in those days-and also the sons of God went in to the daughters of humans and had children with them. They were the heroes of old, men of renown.
Ephesians 2:1-2 New International Version bible
As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins, in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and the RULER OF THE KINGDOM OF THE AIR, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient.
Revelation 12:1-17 New international Version bible
A great sign appeared in heaven: a woman clothed with the sun, and the moon under her feet and twelve stars on her on her head. She was pregnant and cried out in pain as she was about to give birth. Then another sign appeared in heaven: an enormous red dragon with seven heads and ten horns and seven crowns on its head. Its tail swept a third of the stars out of the sky and flung them to the earth. The dragon stood in front of the woman who was about to give birth, so he might devour her child the moment he was born. She gave birth to a son, a male child who “will rule all the nations with an iron scepter. And the child was snatched up to God and to His throne. The woman fled into the wilderness to a place prepared for her by God, where she might be taken care of for 1,260 days.
Then a war broke out in heaven. Michael and his angels fought against the dragon and the dragon and his angels fought back. But the dragon was not strong enough and they lost their place in heaven. The great dragon was hurled down-that ancient serpent called the devil or satan, who leads the whole world astray. He was hurled down to earth, and his angels with him.
Lucifer is using the entire UFO/new age spirituality movement to lead people astray. What the new age spirituality is teaching about extraterrestrials/aliens is wrong, and not just about E.T.’s, everything about it is a lie and it’s a door to evil spirits. We are NOT God. We cannot manifest things any more than a rock can. You cannot heal yourself, and you are not God. It’s a crock of crap. (pardon my language) It is not the truth. The best way to fight demons is with prayer and the name of Jesus Christ. I know this from experience and the E.T.s don’t bother me anymore.
-
A Miracle Happened Today. My Friend Was Healed of Her Tumor.
One of my Christian friends who lives in a different state had an MRI in August to see if she would be a candidate for back surgery. She has terrible pain in her back and chronic sciatica, along with fibromyalgia and arthritis. I feel so bad for her because she suffers so much.
After the MRI, the doctor called her and said the MRI showed something. One of the ducts on her pancreas was enlarged so he told her he could not do surgery on her S1 Joint. She was upset. Then she saw her regular doctor who told her she needed to get a CAT scan and to make an appointment with a specialist right away.
She went in for her CAT scan, and that showed multiple very small tumors on her liver and a 14centimeter tumor on the outer wall of her bladder. When she went in to see the specialist, he said the tumors on her liver were harmless, but he wanted to do surgery right away on her bladder and do a biopsy to test for cancer. She was scared it might be cancer.
The Monday before her surgery on Wednesday I fasted but didn’t just have bread and water because I have health issues that affect my digestion. I fasted and prayed for her to be healed of her tumor. I had never done a serious fast for an answer to prayer. It wasn’t as hard as I thought it was going to be at first. I think the key to fasting with health issues is eating protein for each small meal if you have. I didn’t eat any meat or fish. I had a veggie burger for breakfast for my big meal, for lunch I had raw almonds and almond milk, then for supper I had pretzels and almond milk which was a big mistake. I think there might be 1 gram of protein in pretzels which isn’t enough to stay with you. By the end of the night, I was extremely tired and felt weak, so I went to bed early.
I prayed the week before her surgery and Monday, Tuesday; and Wednesday the day of her surgery. I asked Jesus to heal my friend and make the tumor disappear.
My friend didn’t tell many people about her tumor because she didn’t want to talk about it. She called her church a couple days before her surgery, and they put her on the prayer chain.
Her surgery on Wednesday was at noon, and I knew they were going use some type of anesthesia for her outpatient surgery. I texted her about 4pm to ask if she was awake and if she was in a lot of pain and I didn’t hear anything back, so I assumed she was sleeping. Then around 5pm she called me and said she had texted me, but I never got the text. She told me the surgeon couldn’t find anything. The tumor had disappeared! It was a miracle!
Prayer and fasting works!
-
Jesus is Our Savior and Big Brother
Photo by Janko Ferlic on Pexels.com I get anxiety attacks driving because I hit a steel power pole head on in December of 2010 while driving home after work one night. It was 10:30 pm when the roads were icy and the road hadn’t been salted yet and it was freezing rain. It was scary losing control of my car. As soon as I saw I was headed for the power pole I said to God, “I guess I am ready.” I was sure I was going to die, but God wasn’t through with yet. But from then on, I didn’t think I was a very good driver because of the accident.
My car was totaled, and I was bleeding on my cheek a little bit, but other than being shook up I was fine. I took a taxi home, and I saw cars in the ditch on the highway. My car was a total loss since the air bags had deployed, and I am sure the front end of the car was in bad shape too.
Then I couldn’t drive for six months much because I sprained my right ankle when falling down the stairs in October of 2021 and also I ended up with a terrible case of sciatica on the left side of my lower back, hip, and leg. I had to walk on my sprained ankle because I couldn’t put weight on my left leg.
Since the pandemic, falling down the stairs, and hurting myself I have hated driving because of the anxiety I feel. I have asked God to take my anxiety away again like He did in 1987, but it hasn’t happened yet. I still pray for it though.
God healed me of anxiety when I was 22 years old. I didn’t drive before that because of anxiety attacks. Then one morning in December of 1987, when I was getting ready for work something happened. I was standing at the foot of the stairs after taking a shower, and I looked up and all I saw was white light. I looked down and then looked up again and then I could see the stairs again. It happened in a split second. After that happened, I started feeling God’s peace that would start at the top of my head and wash over my body until it went down to my toes. Like God was pouring out His Holy Spirit over me.
My seasonal job had ended, and I could not collect unemployment because the man I talked to on the phone denied my claim. When I explained to him, I didn’t drive and had to depend on rides because there wasn’t any public transportation where I lived. He told me to get my driver’s license. I was really scared and didn’t know what I was going to do so I prayed. God answered that prayer in a big way, I got my driver’s license 3 months later.
While watching a pastor talk about fear and being afraid, he said something that really comforted me. He said Jesus is our big brother and we are all his little sisters and brothers, and when we are afraid, we should ask him to help us. What the pastor said has got to be one of the best things I have heard about getting over anxiety and being afraid. Jesus said we are his brothers and sisters, but I never thought of him as a big brother. I lost my only big brother to suicide when I was 21 years old and I have wondered what he would be like if he was still alive. I have Jesus as a big brother now, and He the best big brother a sister could ever ask for.
-
The Everlasting Love of God
Photo by Ralitsa Racheva on Pexels.com God let me know how much he loves me one night when I was nineteen or twenty. I was sleeping and a had strange dream and when I woke up in the middle of the night, I didn’t want to open my eyes, because I thought I was dead. I felt so loved and so peaceful. It was almost like God was giving me hug and making me feel the love he had for me. There is nothing like that love! That is the presence of God. God’s very being is love.
I was hearing the still, small voice of God’s Holy Spirit speaking to me saying “open your eyes.” I didn’t want to but when finally did, I was in my bedroom and alive and well. The voice wasn’t audible, it was more of an inner knowing voice that I was hearing in my spirit. It wasn’t my conscious because it seemed like the voice was male. It’s hard to describe the voice, but once you hear it you know it.
I didn’t want to move because I didn’t want the feeling of unconditional love to go away. It is hard to describe God’s love for us. In fact, I can’t because it’s indescribable. You need to experience it for yourself to be able to understand it. One thing I can say is no one loves you that much in this world. Not your mom, dad, brother, sister, friends, boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife, or child. No One. If you would take the love of a mother for her child and multiply it by a million, it still wouldn’t compare.
God loves us so much. There is nothing he wouldn’t do to let us know. Jesus loves us so much that he died for us! In the beginning when God created man and woman and they were tempted by satan and gave into that temptation and committed the first sin. That separated them from the close relationship they had with God. To get that relationship back with God, God sent Jesus to earth to show people how much He loves them. Jesus showed them the way to get close to Him again so they wouldn’t be separated anymore.
Jesus died a brutal death and shed his blood, for no reason other than the fact that He loves us. He sacrificed himself willingly. He did nothing to deserve death. He only helped people while on earth by healing and doing miracles and taught the way to God the Father. After Jesus died and was dead for three days, He came back to life like He had foretold, and many people saw Him and ate with Him. After he died, he spent forty days on earth then He ascended into the sky and He’s in heaven today and will return some day in the same way and at the same place He left.
You can know Jesus as a close friend, someone closer than brother. You can experience His love and peace. All you have to do is ask him to come into your life and forgive you for all the wrongs you have done throughout your life and tell him you are sorry for them. No matter what you have done, God won’t reject you.
I want to be a better vessel for God, so when He wants someone to experience that love and peace it would transfer from me to the person standing next to me by the power of the Holy Spirit. It is possible to do, and it reminds me part of verse 5 in Psalm 23: “You anoint my head with oil, and my cup overflows.” To me that means being anointed with the Holy Spirit and His peace is overflowing and sharing God’s peace through the Holy Spirit flowing through you to people you meet.
It’s not an easy road to be living a life of sin. Jesus promised us that his way is the better way. That road might be difficult at times, but Jesus said, come to me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
MKR Prodigal Daughter Christian Perspectives from a Prodigal 