He radiates power,
And when His presence enters a room,
worry is something you just can't do.
His presence brings peace,
His presence brings love,
His presence is tranquility.
I want to feel His presence again,
it's better than seeing a long, lost friend.
When I feel His presence,
I just want to praise.
He is power,
He is love,
He is peace.
That is my God,
That is my Savior,
That is my Prince of Peace.
I have dealt with physical pain since I was a teenager. I started getting terrible pain in my stomach when I was fifteen years old. I did not know what was causing it. I had a test done at the hospital that consisted of drinking a white, chalky, terrible tasting liquid and getting an x-ray of my stomach. The doctor didn’t find anything wrong with me. Years later, I heard about irritable bowel syndrome, known as IBS, which is what I have.
Years later in my forties, I developed excruciating pain in my thumbs, near my wrist from work. For years the doctors told me I had tendonitis but never did an x-ray. After dealing with that pain for 4 years, I was adamant about getting an x-ray. and it showed arthritis. Then my shoulder started hurting and I had a good doctor then, and she ordered an x-ray. I had arthritis in my shoulder.
I fell down the stairs in 2021 and as a result of that I ended up with a sprained right ankle and a terrible case of sciatica on the left side of my lower back, hip, and leg. It was the worst pain I think I ever had. I had to walk on my sprained ankle. I couldn’t use crutches because I couldn’t put weight on my left leg. I was miserable.
I tried everything; physical therapy, chiropractor, and drugs, but nothing took the pain away completely. I did a lot of praying for healing, but I still deal with pain. I am not mad about it now, but after months of having really bad sciatica pain I did get mad at God and yelled at him when the pain was so bad and called Him a liar. Then I asked to be forgiven because I felt bad. There I was yelling at God, and I don’t even deserve Jesus.
Now I know better than to get mad at God and yell at Him. I take comfort in the fact Jesus understands our pain. When He was whipped and beaten and nailed to the cross it was very painful for Him. He has experienced extreme pain, and He understands how we feel.
Jesus went through everything we have gone through in our lives and worse. Some people have experienced worse things than others. He was homeless for three years. He experienced pain, hunger, depression, stress, anxiety just like everybody else. There is a medical condition that is extremely rare that people go through when they are under extreme fear or stress where their body sweats blood called, hematidrosis. Jesus sweat blood the night before He was crucified because he was so anxious and felt so much stress.
Therefore, take comfort in Jesus. He understands.
I fell down after I missed the last step when I was walking down the stairs without the light on and I didn’t have my glasses on saturday night when it was starting to get dark. I ended up landing on my hands and knees. A first my right foot hurt, so I wore my compression wrap on it, and that helped a lot. I have a big bruise on my knee, but it doesn’t hurt to walk. My Sacroiliac (S1) joint which is the joint that connects the back to the pelvis bone hurts a lot. I have bilateral arthritis in it anyway and most times it does not bother me. I experience sciatica pain on the left side of my lower body most of the time. But right now, the lowest part of my back hurts the worst and it is chronic pain.
When I am in pain, I think God is punishing me for my sins. Then I wonder if He even loves me at all. Back in 2022 when my sciatica pain was at its worst I yelled at God and called Him a liar and rejected the love God had shown me when I was in my early twenties. I think I said to God “you don’t love me.” Then I repented after that, but it’s like God put a block in my mind so now I can barely remember that love now.
Another thing happened a month or two later in 2022. I decided to pray a prayer of protection over this home. I looked up prayers for protection over a home online, and I found a bunch of them, and I prayed them out loud. As soon as I was done praying one of the prayers, I felt the presence of Jesus. His presence was so strong and I felt so peaceful, I couldn’t have worried if I tried. That feeling stayed all afternoon and most of the night. It was so wonderful. I thought, “this has got to be what heaven feels like.”
I know what it says in the bible about God loving us. I know Jesus would have gone through the torture he endured and the crucifixion just for me, but there are times I doubt. I have had anxiety for years and the physical pain just makes it worse. I take medications for anxiety and but the antidepressant I take makes me feel emotionally numb most of the time and I rarely cry now. The last time I really cried was when I was mad at God and yelled at him and called him a liar.
Jesus gave me a gift when He let me feel his presence of peace so strong. I can remember that presence, and I need to cling to it. When He was being whipped, beaten, and crucified, His pain was a lot worse than what I am going through. But He understands our pain and I take comfort in that.
When I was eight years old, I saw a UFO. I was out in the garden after supper, with my family that early evening and it was dark outside because it was October. My sister was at some school function, but my brother and parents were there. According to my mother my brother saw it too, but for some reason we never talked about it. My parents didn’t see it because they had their backs turned to it.
I can still remember it plain as day. We were supposed to be cleaning up the garden, but I wasn’t. I was jumping on old overgrown cucumbers and having fun watching them explode under my boots. Then for some reason I looked up and saw something in the sky. I didn’t know what it was, but it wasn’t an airplane. It was a craft of some sort; it was close and low to the ground. It didn’t make any noise, and I was not scared. I had never even heard the phrase UFO at that age.
I had a strange dream that I thought God sent me about a blonde man and a choice during the summer of 1983 when I was eighteen years old. After I woke up from the dream, the top left side of my head hurt so bad, and I felt like I had been hit on the head with a hammer. The pain was awful and lasted over a month. I had never heard of head pain that lasts for a month, and I don’t get migraines either. On a different morning that summer I woke up with three large pinpricks in row and blood dried on my ankle.
In 1989 I was at a bookstore, and I saw a book about alien abduction experiences, it had a demon looking creature on the cover. I bought it and started reading after I got home. It scared me so bad I couldn’t sleep. The book was so detailed and the things that happened to the author were so awful, but I read the entire book anyway. That started my journey on a search for the truth. I didn’t know what to think about aliens. There had been programs about UFOs and movies about alien abductions on television which I had watched.
In 1998 on Easter evening, at dusk I saw another UFO this one was noisy, and it scared me. I hid in the garage while it flew over. I was so scared! My heart was beating rapidly, and I feared what might happen to me.
In 2006 I joined a UFO and alien abduction group. I was also hypnotically regressed back to the times I saw UFO’s and it didn’t help. The strange experiences didn’t stop unfortunately because I wasn’t a Christian. My immediate family members and other relatives have also seen UFO’s.
People have been pondering if aliens are real, and if they are, where do they come from. I think they are fallen angels, and the Nephilim are the disembodied ones who have died are demons. I know they are liars because of my own experience. They told me I used to be Jesus in an in-between awake and a sleep state one morning and they said if I didn’t believe it, I would get throat cancer. Extraterrestrials tell everyone that they abduct that they have been chosen. They are liars. The bible mentions the sons of God, which are fallen angels and I think they are what is known today as aliens. The bible also mentions the ruler of the kingdom of the air is which is Lucifer. And Lucifer is the author of lies. They are God’s enemies, and they are our enemies.
Gensis 6:1-4 New International Version bible
When human beings began increase in number on the earth and were born to them, the sons of God saw that daughters of humans were beautiful, and they married any of them they chose. Then the Lord said, “my spirit will not contend with humans forever, for they are mortal; their days will be one hundred twenty years old.”
The Nephilim were on the earth in those days-and also the sons of God went in to the daughters of humans and had children with them. They were the heroes of old, men of renown.
Ephesians 2:1-2 New International Version bible
As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins, in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and the RULER OF THE KINGDOM OF THE AIR, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient.
Revelation 12:1-17 New international Version bible
A great sign appeared in heaven: a woman clothed with the sun, and the moon under her feet and twelve stars on her on her head. She was pregnant and cried out in pain as she was about to give birth. Then another sign appeared in heaven: an enormous red dragon with seven heads and ten horns and seven crowns on its head. Its tail swept a third of the stars out of the sky and flung them to the earth. The dragon stood in front of the woman who was about to give birth, so he might devour her child the moment he was born. She gave birth to a son, a male child who “will rule all the nations with an iron scepter. And the child was snatched up to God and to His throne. The woman fled into the wilderness to a place prepared for her by God, where she might be taken care of for 1,260 days.
Then a war broke out in heaven. Michael and his angels fought against the dragon and the dragon and his angels fought back. But the dragon was not strong enough and they lost their place in heaven. The great dragon was hurled down-that ancient serpent called the devil or satan, who leads the whole world astray. He was hurled down to earth, and his angels with him.
Lucifer is using the entire UFO/new age spirituality movement to lead people astray. What the new age spirituality is teaching about extraterrestrials/aliens is wrong, and not just about E.T.’s, everything about it is a lie and it’s a door to evil spirits. We are NOT God. We cannot manifest things any more than a rock can. You cannot heal yourself, and you are not God. It’s a crock of crap. (pardon my language) It is not the truth. The best way to fight demons is with prayer and the name of Jesus Christ. I know this from experience and the E.T.s don’t bother me anymore.
I watched a video about the Shroud of Turin. It is authentic according to scientists and it is from the year 1 A.D. and the kind of cloth that was made during that time period. It was considered expensive back then and it is a single piece of woven material.
In the video they showed a cap of thorns, not a crown. The cap of thorns was more similar to what a crown looked like back then. It wasn’t just like a ring put on top of the head, the crowns of old covered the entire scalp of a king’s head.
I had a dream about Jesus when I was in my early twenties. In my dream I saw Jesus standing in a place with hewn rock walls with a narrow opening to walk through and torches on the wall. He was standing in the opening, and I heard him moan then blood started running down his head until it covered his entire face and soaked his clothing. The room in my dream reminded me of an underground prison and it also reminded me of when he sweat blood in the Garden of Gethsemane the night he was arrested. Jesus could have bled all over when the soldiers put the cap of thorns on His head, or from extreme stress while he was custody of the Romans.
Jesus was whipped from head to toe on both sides of his body. When He was whipped it tore his flesh right off his body, because the whip had sharp objects attached to the end it. He suffered immensely for us. He sacrificed himself willingly. This should make us all pause and take stock of our own lives.
Four years and four days after my brother killed himself, my ex-boyfriend killed himself just like my brother did. He recorded himself on a cassette tape, drove out in the country and shot himself. I was at work when one of my friends called me. I was distraught, and left work early that day.
I really fell apart at home and cried and cried. I couldn’t believe it. I had just finally started getting over my brother’s death. I said to God the day before my ex-boyfriend died, “I hope I never have to go through that again.” My ex-boyfriend had gone my brother’s funeral, and he said to me that night that he couldn’t understand why anyone would want to commit suicide.
My ex had called me over a year before his death wanting me to help him quit drinking. He wanted to go out with me again, but he had already left me twice for the same girl, so I did not want to date him again. I wanted to be friends, like we were before we started dating. I agreed to go to a movie in the afternoon that Sunday. On the way home I don’t remember us talking. When he dropped me off, I was going to turn to say goodbye and he looked so hopeful, like he wanted to come in the house or get a kiss. I didn’t say anything but just shook my head no and got out of the car. He never called again. I saw him at a local bar drinking by himself six months later when my friends and I went out one night, and he looked awful.
I tried to go to his wake with a friend and I remember screaming in her car that I couldn’t believe that he had killed himself. I went into the wake, and I remember talking to his brother, then turned and looked at one of his friends and started crying and left. I worked on the day of his funeral because I couldn’t handle going to the funeral.
After he died, I got mad at God, and I was mad at my ex-boyfriend. I decided to give up on God because he didn’t prevent the suicide. I thought if God can’t protect me, I will protect myself! I started reading about new age spirituality, witchcraft and the occult. I used to read palms and I also practiced witchcraft. I had a warped view of Jesus. I didn’t think of him as powerful as God. I thought of him as less than God. I tried to worship pagan gods but still believed in God and included God in my witchcraft along with a Mother Goddess who I saw as the spirit of wisdom that I had read about in new age and gnostic writings. I am sure I offended God. I thought the passage in the bible about John the Baptist as Elijah was proof of reincarnation. I didn’t think of Jesus as God who walked on earth in the flesh. I thought he was less than God. I didn’t understand his sacrifice. It didn’t make any sense to me. Why did he have to die? I thought His death was a waste. I didn’t understand the resurrection.
It wasn’t until much later that I gave my life to Jesus, but before I did I went through some really dark times. Even after I gave my life to Jesus it was not easy. I carried around a lot of guilt and couldn’t accept the fact that God had forgiven me of all the bad things I had done in my life. Getting into new age spirituality, practicing witchcraft, reading palms and rejecting him, were some of the worst things I have done in my life. I cried out to God so I could feel His Presence. It took a long time for me to feel forgiven. But I know I have been forgiven, and I have felt His Presence.
Know you can be forgiven of even the worst sins. No matter what you have done, God will forgive you if you ask Him. No matter you have done what he will forgive you. He isn’t some big meanie in the sky out to get you, that’s what the enemy wants you to think. The enemy the devil hates our guts because we are made in God’s image. God is peace and love. If you want to know what God the Father is like, look at Jesus. And the best way to get to know them is by reading the bible and talking to them.
One of my evangelical friends who lives in a different state had an MRI in August to see if she would be a candidate for back surgery. She has terrible pain in her back and chronic sciatica, along with fibromyalgia. I feel so bad for her because she suffers so much.
After the MRI, the doctor called her and said the MRI showed something. One of the ducts on her pancreas was enlarged so he told her he could not do surgery on her S1 Joint. She was upset. Then she saw her regular doctor who told her she needed to get a CAT scan and to make an appointment with a specialist right away.
She went in for her CAT scan, and that showed multiple very small tumors on her liver and a 14mm tumor on the outer wall of her bladder. When she went in to see the specialist, he said the tumors on her liver were harmless, but he wanted to do surgery right away on her bladder and do a biopsy to test for cancer. She was scared it might be cancer.
The Monday before her surgery on Wednesday I fasted and prayed for her to be healed of her tumor. I had fasted during lent by giving up meat, but I had never done a serious fast for an answer to prayer. It wasn’t as hard as I thought it was going to be at first. I think the key to fasting is eating protein for each small meal. I didn’t eat any meat or fish. I had a chik’n veggie burger for breakfast for my big meal, for lunch I had raw almonds and almond milk, then for supper I had pretzels and almond milk which was a big mistake. I think there might be 1 gram of protein in pretzels which isn’t enough to stay with you. By the end of the night, I was extremely tired and felt kind of weak, so I went to bed early.
I prayed the week before her surgery and the week of her surgery. I asked Jesus to heal my friend and make the tumor disappear.
My friend didn’t tell many people about her tumor because she didn’t want to talk about it. She told one person from her church a couple days before her surgery, and they put her on the prayer chain. To my knowledge, I am the only one that fasted. Her husband who is a retired pastor did even fast.
Her surgery on Wednesday was at noon, and I knew they were going use some type of anesthesia for her outpatient surgery. I texted her about 4pm to ask if she was awake and if she was in a lot of pain and I didn’t hear anything back, so I assumed she was sleeping. Then around 5pm she called me and said she had texted me, but I never got the text. She told me the surgeon couldn’t find anything. The tumor had disappeared! It was a miracle!
Prayer and fasting works.
I have given to Hosea’s Heart in Africa off and on throughout the years. It’s an organization that helps exploited children. It’s a home and school for vulnerable children who have been sex trafficked. It is operated and was started by a woman who is from the U.S and now lives in Africa
In August early September 2024 I got covid. One night I had been praying and I laid down to go to sleep and all of the sudden I thought of Hosea’s Heart Organization, so I prayed for the organization. Then I sensed Jesus standing by the right side of my bed and I heard the words, “I am going to give her a book.” (I hadn’t heard Jesus speak to me in years) I asked Jesus, “what kind of book?” but I didn’t get an answer. Then I thought maybe Jesus was telling me to donate to Hosea’s Heart in case the owner wanted a book and she couldn’t afford one right now. I thought to myself, “I will make a donation in the morning” and tried to fall asleep because it was very early in the morning. I still couldn’t sleep and after I laid in bed a couple hours, I got up and made a small donation because it felt like I should and God wasn’t going to let me sleep until I did it, then finally I fell asleep.
I contacted Hosea’s Heart and wrote an email the next day explaining what I heard from Jesus and I wrote I know it sound crazy. Then I called the number on the website the next day and left a message. I felt like a fool.
Someone called me from Hosea’s Heart and when I heard from the woman on the phone that they didn’t think it was crazy and they hear things like that often. I was relieved. Then the person I talked to told me the owner was working on her second book. I had no idea she was a writer, and I had no idea she had published a book either. I was very surprised. She had been struggling finishing her second book.
All I can say is God works in mysterious ways.
I started worshipping satan the summer I was seventeen. It didn’t last long though and I started in July. The things that led up to it happened when I was 16 years old and were out of my control and I now believe I was a victim of witchcraft. I didn’t understand what was going on, and I thought God hated me, was going to damn me to hell, and I didn’t have any other choice. It was during that time I started seeing visions.
That June before I started following satan, my sister and I used the ouiji board my grandma had and she gave it to my mom. My sister and I used the board once. We started asking questions and got gibberish for answers. I became interested in the occult and witchcraft after we used it. I started reading books about the subject but the more I read about witchcraft, I knew it wasn’t the truth. Witches don’t believe in God or satan. They believe in a variety of different goddesses and gods: idols. I didn’t believe it because I knew that God and satan were both real. I knew that the God of the bible was the real God and that there weren’t any others. I thought God hated me and I was damned to hell, and I had no choice in the matter. I thought I should just worship the enemy because I was going to hell anyway. Yes, I was listening to the enemies lies and I was deceived.
Even though I was raised catholic I didn’t understand the religion, the rituals, or why I had to memorize prayers when I went to catechism class. Because no one explained things about God and prayer I never prayed or talked to God. Throughout childhood, and my teens I lived as an atheist. I never paid any attention to God. My parents did not talk about God.
I started having a lot of anxiety then and I also started seeing visions then. The first one was of an unborn baby in the womb that looked almost full term. I saw that one while I was sitting in my friend’s car while she went into Planned Parenthood to get birth control. I knew nothing about partial birth abortions at that time in my life. The next one I saw was of me and a man. That vision had to do with the biblical meaning of marriage. Then I saw the next vision in September. I saw the exact same vision on the night full moon of every month for three months in a row. I would wake up in the middle of the night in extreme pain. The pain would get so bad I could not lie in bed anymore so I would get up and go downstairs to get something to drink and by the time I got downstairs I felt like I was going to pass out, then I would break out in a cold sweat, and then I would faint but not before seeing a vision.
I didn’t know what the vision was supposed to mean, but I saw the same exact one every full moon for three months in a row. The vision started with me seeing all black, then I would see a dot of gold light that would move in a clockwise circle until it was a perfect circle of gold light like a halo. After the circle was complete, I would faint. Now I think it has to do with three hours, specifically the third hour when Jesus died after he was crucified.
Soon I started dreading full moon. I didn’t want to wake up in pain again, but I didn’t know what to do either because I didn’t even think of praying or that God would help me. In November I saw a personal ad in the newspaper. It was a personal ad from a man who said he was spiritual and looking for a spiritual woman and there was a number written under his personal ad. The number was a blind box number the newspaper used so people could respond by sending letters to the newspaper, then the letter was forwarded to him. I sent him a letter and a photo, but I have no clue as to what I wrote in the letter now. He called after about two weeks, and we talked for a short period of time. I don’t remember our whole conversation now, but I know I had told him I worshipped the enemy. I told him about the visions and the pain that happened on the full moon. In the want ads in that day’s newspaper there a notice about praying and it listed prayers to pray. It said to pray three of each prayer. I asked him if he thought I should pray them and he said he didn’t think it was a bad idea.
About a week later I got a letter in the mail from Jonathan, the man in the personal ad I had sent a letter to. He wrote I was on the wrong path, and worshipping satan was just a negative self-fulfilling prophecy.
I prayed on the night of the full moon in December. I stumbled through the prayers and didn’t think God would even hear me. In the morning when I woke up, I realized I didn’t wake up in pain the middle of the night and I didn’t see any visions or faint. God had heard my prayer and answered it. It changed my life. After that night, I started praying those prayers every day for protection from evil and I never left the house without praying for protection. I would read bible verses in my grandma’s old catholic daily mass bible every morning when I woke up. I also started talking to God all the time.
I wonder if Jonathan was an angel on earth. I don’t mean a heavenly angel but a human doing God’s will because he was at the right place at the right time. After that happened to me, I started asking God to help me be in the right place at the right time.
I know God can use anyone to make a difference in someone’s life. Maybe someday you will be someone’s angel on earth.
He is the maker…
of the universe….
awesome in power…
Creator of the galaxies…
yet looks after…
the flower…
He is a God…
That is love…
and he made…
the heaven above….
He made me….
and He made you…
never think…..
you are unloved…..
It is in his essence…
He is the love…
of the Father…
incarnated in flesh…
Adonai
Yeshua
Jesus.
MKR Prodigal Daughter Christian Perspectives from a Prodigal 