MKR Prodigal Daughter Christian Perspectives from a Prodigal

Category: pain

  • I Experienced God’s Wrath As A Pagan, Then He Saved Me

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    I have experienced God’s awe-inspiring everlasting love and God’s wrath. This is the story of when I experienced God’s wrath as an unbeliever in 1997

    When I didn’t believe in Jesus and was worshipping pagan gods and goddesses and practicing witchcraft, I experienced God’s wrath. I was terrified when He poured out His wrath on me that day. After praying the Lord’s prayer and others, and asking God to help me and forgive me, His wrath finally subsided. After I got home the next day after driving 24 hours, I threw out all of my occult books, crystals, and jewelry.

    Feeling God’s wrath was terrifying and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. When I experienced God’s wrath He was fed up with me and my sins. I had it coming to me, and I deserved it.

    After that experience I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that Jesus is coming back soon. But one thing I remember is, when I was driving through what felt like heaven on earth after God relented on his wrath, I saw a sign on a church that said, “Prepare to Meet Your God.” Those words are in one of the verses in the Book of Amos in the Old Testament. I suggest everyone read it.

    That morning when I when I woke up to hearing God yell at me, and it was like I had entered another dimension or had entered a portal. I can’t describe it, but I was terrified. I couldn’t breathe right and I was coughing a lot. My throat was burning and so was my chest. I saw rainbow-colored beams of light that were coming out my chest, and that light went on forever. All I felt was fear and I felt like I was surrounded by evil. I called local churches and asked them to pray for me. It was a Friday and a lot of the churches I called were closed that day. I had to get away from that feeling and had to get out of the house. Then I started driving and I didn’t know where I was going but I was praying the whole time. I drove all day and all night.

    The next morning, I was still driving and I ended up taking an exit named X that led me to a town somewhere. I didn’t know where I was but after I took that exit it was like I had driven into hell on earth. I was trying to find a way out and came across a park named Performance Park and I drove through it. After I drove through it the scenery seemed nicer and the sun was shining. I still could not find my way out though to get back on the highway and drove around some more. Finally, I came to another park. This park was named Endurance Park, I could have turned around in this park, but I drove through it. Now things seemed even better, but I still could not find a way to drive out of this town. Then I came across another park. It was named the Court Park, and I drove into that park. I saw a man wearing a white shirt who had blonde hair and he was looking out the window of a brown brick building. I had to turn around in a driveway near that building and as soon as I left that park, I felt like I was in heaven on earth. All the music on my radio was about Jesus. Then I heard a man say on the radio they need teachers in China.

    I felt like my car was hovering, and it would have been impossible to get in a car accident there because it was so easy to drive. As I drove around enjoying myself, I knew things. I knew Jesus was there, but I couldn’t see Him because He was physically somewhere else. I also knew how many prayers you prayed while on the old earth determined how much money you had here on the new earth. I finally found a way out of that place and drove back onto the highway. I saw a sign for a big city that is in a different state from where I live and there is no city or town with that name in the state I live in. I knew I could drive anywhere I wanted to go on that road, even Hawaii! I thought things would stay like heaven on earth, but not long after driving on the highway I saw a billboard for vodka and heard a Rolling Stones song on the radio. I knew I was no longer on the new heavenly earth.

    When I finally drove home, I went to sleep and slept for a long time. I threw out every book I had on the occult, and buried all the crystals, stones, and jewelry.. I knew Jesus was coming back and I felt compelled to tell everyone I met when I worked as a temporary staffing person during that time.

    I wasted a lot of money and time on the new age and occult, and everything I learned was a lie straight from satan. But the thing is, I chose to go down that path, no one forced me to do it. Everyone has the free will to choose between evil and good. Please don’t get caught believing the enemy’s lies before it is too late. The outcome will not be good, and you will regret it, because after you die there is no mercy to those who are on same path I was on. It is final and there is no turning back then.

  • Jesus and Chronic Pain

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    I have dealt with physical pain since I was a teenager. I started getting terrible pain in my stomach when I was fifteen years old. I did not know what was causing it. I had a test done at the hospital that consisted of drinking a white, chalky, terrible tasting liquid and getting an x-ray of my stomach. The doctor didn’t find anything wrong with me. Years later, I heard about irritable bowel syndrome, known as IBS, which is what I have. After I stopped drinking dairy milk, it helped a lot, but I still get a lot of pain in my lower intestines.

    Years later in my forties, I developed excruciating pain in my thumbs, near my wrist from work. For years the doctors told me I had tendonitis but never did an x-ray. After dealing with that pain for 4 years, I was adamant about getting an x-ray. and it showed arthritis. Then my shoulder started hurting and I had a good doctor then, and she ordered an x-ray. I had arthritis in my shoulder. Then I found out recently I have arthritis in my neck. I took prescription naproxen for the pain, which is the same thing as the over-the-counter-pain reliever Aleve, but it’s stronger. I take that because I refuse to take narcotics. It doesn’t take away all the pain.

    I fell down the stairs in 2021 and as a result of that I ended up with a sprained right ankle and a terrible case of sciatica on the left side of my lower back, hip, and leg. It was the worst pain I think I ever had. I had to walk on my sprained ankle. I couldn’t use crutches because I couldn’t put weight on my left leg from the pain. I was miserable. I am not mad about it now, but after months of having really bad sciatica pain I did get mad at God and yelled at him when the pain was so bad and called Him a liar. Then I asked to be forgiven because I felt bad. There I was yelling at God, and I don’t even deserve Jesus.

    I have tried everything; physical therapy, chiropractor, steroid injections, and drugs, but nothing takes the pain away completely. The only thing I have not tried is surgery but because there are no guarantees surgery will fix my problems. I know a lot of people who have had surgery, but their pain is worse after surgery than were before they had it.

    Now I know better than to get mad at God and yell at Him. I take comfort in the fact Jesus understands our pain. When He was whipped and beaten and nailed to the cross it was very painful for Him. He has experienced extreme pain, and He understands how we feel.

    Jesus went through everything we have gone through in our lives and worse. Some people have experienced worse things than others. He was homeless for three years. He experienced pain, hunger, depression, stress, anxiety just like everybody else. There is a medical condition that is extremely rare that people go through when they are under extreme fear or stress where their body sweats blood called, hematidrosis. Jesus sweat blood the night before He was crucified because he was so anxious and felt so much stress.

    Therefore, take comfort in Jesus. He understands.

  • Angels On Earth

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    I started worshipping satan the summer I was seventeen. It didn’t last long though and I started in July.  The things that led up to it happened when I was 16 years old and were out of my control and I now believe I was a victim of witchcraft.  I didn’t understand what was going on, and I thought God hated me, was going to damn me to hell, and I didn’t have any other choice. It was during that time I started seeing visions.

    That June before I started following satan, my sister and I used the ouiji board my grandma had and she gave it to my mom. My sister and I used the board once. We started asking questions and got gibberish for answers. I became interested in the occult and witchcraft after we used it. I started reading books about the subject but the more I read about witchcraft, I knew it wasn’t the truth. Witches don’t believe in God or satan. They believe in a variety of different goddesses and gods: idols. I didn’t believe it because I knew that God and satan were both real. I knew that the God of the bible was the real God and that there weren’t any others. I thought God hated me and I was damned to hell, and I had no choice in the matter. I thought I should just worship the enemy because I was going to hell anyway. Yes, I was listening to the enemies lies and I was deceived.

    Even though I was raised catholic I didn’t understand the religion, the rituals, or why I had to memorize prayers when I went to catechism class. Because no one explained things about God and prayer I never prayed or talked to God. Throughout childhood, and my teens I lived as an atheist. I never paid any attention to God. My parents did not talk about God.

    I started having a lot of anxiety then and I also started seeing visions then. The first one was of an unborn baby in the womb that looked almost full term. I saw that one while I was sitting in my friend’s car while she went into Planned Parenthood to get birth control. I knew nothing about partial birth abortions at that time in my life. The next one I saw was of me and a man. That vision had to do with the biblical meaning of marriage. Then I saw the next vision in September. I saw the exact same vision on the night full moon of every month for three months in a row. I would wake up in the middle of the night in extreme pain. The pain would get so bad I could not lie in bed anymore so I would get up and go downstairs to get something to drink and by the time I got downstairs I felt like I was going to pass out, then I would break out in a cold sweat, and then I would faint but not before seeing a vision.

    I didn’t know what the vision was supposed to mean, but I saw the same exact one every full moon for three months in a row. The vision started with me seeing all black, then I would see a dot of gold light that would move in a clockwise circle until it was a perfect circle of gold light like a halo. After the circle was complete, I would faint. Now I think it has to do with the third hour, specifically the third hour when Jesus died after he was crucified.

    Soon I started dreading full moon. I didn’t want to wake up in pain again, but I didn’t know what to do either because I didn’t even think of praying or that God would help me.  In November I saw a personal ad in the newspaper. It was a personal ad from a man who said he was spiritual and looking for a spiritual woman and there was a number written under his personal ad. The number was a blind box number the newspaper used so people could respond by sending letters to the newspaper, then the letter was forwarded to him. I sent him a letter and a photo, but I have no clue as to what I wrote in the letter now. He called after about two weeks, and we talked for a short period of time. I don’t remember our whole conversation now, but I know I had told him I worshipped the enemy. I told him about the visions and the pain that happened on the full moon.  In the want ads in that day’s newspaper there a notice that said to pray 3 three different prayers 3 times. I asked him if he thought I should pray them and he said he didn’t think it was a bad idea.

    About a week later I got a letter in the mail from Jonathan, the man in the personal ad I had sent a letter to. He wrote I was on the wrong path, and worshipping satan was just a negative self-fulfilling prophecy.

    I prayed on the night of the full moon in December. I stumbled through the prayers and didn’t think God would even hear me. In the morning when I woke up, I realized I didn’t wake up in pain the middle of the night and I didn’t see any visions or faint. God had heard my prayer and answered it. It changed my life. After that night, I started praying those prayers every day for protection from evil and I never left the house without praying for protection. I would read bible verses in my grandma’s old catholic daily mass bible every morning when I woke up. I had no regular bible. I also started talking to God all the time.

    I wonder if Jonathan was an angel on earth. I don’t mean a heavenly angel but a human doing God’s will because he was at the right place at the right time. After that happened to me, I started asking God to help me be in the right place at the right time.

    I know God can use anyone to make a difference in someone’s life. Maybe someday you will be someone’s angel on earth.