MKR Prodigal Daughter Christian Perspectives from a Prodigal

Category: catholic

  • The Sacred Hearts God Gave Me

    Photo by MKR

    In the beginning of 2001, I was very depressed. I had health problem, had just gone on disability at the end of 2000, and I was no longer working. I wasn’t eating much and I wasn’t sleeping much. I lost a lot of my friends because of it. I would have felt so much better if I would have just been able to get some sleep because I was exhausted.

    It was a cold dreary winter and one early evening, I was so sad I just cried. I felt a presence then, but it wasn’t Jesus because it seemed to be female. The only person I thought it could be is Mary, the Blessed Mother of Jesus. The presence was comforting, and I stopped crying. It felt like someone was just there sitting next to me on my bed. I said three Hail Mary’s every day along with the three Our Father prayer, and three Glory Be prayers. I also wore the Miraculous Medal which is a medal that Mary wanted made. It had belonged to my grandma.

    Then one day during that cold winter I remember looking at one of my plants after I watered it. The leaves on the schefflera plant come to a point on each end but that day I found a heart shaped leaf. I was amazed and happy. I decided to see if any of the other leaves looked different. And what do you know? I found another one. I found two heart shaped leaves on the same plant on the same day. The two heart shaped leaves reminded me of the Sacred Hearts of Jesus and Mary.

    I took the leaves and pasted them on the inside of a card that said, “nothing is impossible with God” on the front of it. I cherished that card and kept it for years until one day I got mad at God and ripped it up. I regretted it instantly. I pray someday God will transform in secret two leaves on the schefflera plant again, but if He doesn’t, I will be okay. He gave that gift to let me know He sees me and cares. and I will cling to that.

  • The Lord’s Supper

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    When I was eighteen years old, I fell asleep one summer morning on the couch and I had a dream. I dreamt about shredded wheat cereal, not the mini squares of the cereal, but the big rectangular kind. In my dream hands appeared and the hands broke up the rectangle of wheat cereal and when it was falling into the bowl it turned into broken pieces of fingers. It was one of the strangest dreams I have ever had. After I woke up the dream reminded me of communion at church when the priest breaks the communion wafer into pieces during the mass. The Catholic church teaches that the bread and wine used in communion is the body and blood of Jesus Christ. The priest asks God the Father to bless the wine and bread and transform it into the real presence of Jesus Christ body and blood by sending the power of the Holy Spirit. And my dream confirmed to me that it is true.

  • I Owe Mary An Apology Again….

    Photo by Kathy Denison

    In the past I have written about how I didn’t think the Catholic church was teaching the truth. I was adamant that people should not be asking Mary, the mother of Jesus Christ or the saints to pray for them.

    There is a lot of misguided teaching out there in You Tube land about Mary and the Catholic church. I have gravitated towards those sermons in the past.

    Some people say and write things are against the catholic church and Mary with their words on social media platforms and in sermons. They cause division and I used to be one of those people. We don’t need any more division in the church. There is enough division in the world.

    So today I am apologizing publicly to the Catholic church, Mary the mother of Jesus and all the saints.

    I pray God protects me from false teachings from now on and that He gives me a firm foundation in the truth.

  • Tragedy Strikes

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    When I was 21 years old my brother committed suicide, because the girl he had asked to marry him turned him down. There wasn’t much warning when he did it. There was about a week he was really suicidal and my parents didn’t tell me what was going on until the day before it happened. I wish they would have told me sooner maybe I could have talked to him. We were not getting along well then, so I didn’t say anything. But one thing I did do was pray.

    I had a feeling he was going to do something he was going to take his life, so I prayed and prayed and prayed. I prayed every prayer I could find in my grandma’s New Marian Missal which was an old Catholic daily mass book from the 1950s. I prayed all day and all night until 11 p.m. then I went to bed. I wasn’t praying that he wouldn’t take his life, I prayed for his soul. I feel guilty because I should have prayed that he wouldn’t take his life.

    That night in the middle of the night I awoke to Jesus speaking to me. He said to me, “I prayed your brother would be filled with the Holy Spirit.” After hearing that I knew my brother was dead and he was in heaven.

    The next morning when the policeman came to the door, I knew why he was there. My parents were so upset, but I didn’t cry. I knew my brother was in heaven because when Jesus prays, He gets what He wants. And people filled with the Holy Spirit go to heaven.

    I don’t know what my brothers last words to God were, but I think he might have asked to be forgiven and that is all it takes. God is very merciful, and He forgives when you ask. Ask Him. He can change your life if you reach out to Him. Jesus loves you so much He willingly sacrificed himself. He didn’t run away from what he knew was going to happen to him. He died for you and me so we can be right with God. Talk to Jesus. He is waiting to hear from you.

  • It isn’t just Catholic’s who pray to saints

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    It isn’t only the Catholic church that prays to saints. The Greek Orthodox church, Coptic Chistian church in Egypt, the Syrian Christian Church, Armenian church and the Ethiopian church pray to the saints. All those churches believe that saints in heaven can pray for them. which is asking for saints to pray for them and praying with them

    Martin Luther had prayed to the saints but then changed his mind. John Calvin who started the Calvinism movement was against praying to saints. He believed in predestination which I do NOT believe in. I don’t believe God predestines some people to go to heaven and some people to go to hell. If that is the case, how do you explain free will. God wants all His children to go to heaven, and He gives all of us that chance.

    Some modern mainstream Evangelical protestant churches talk about how the Catholic Church is leading people astray. And they say that praying to the dead is a sin. The reason why they think Catholics and other denominations are sinning is because King Saul consulted a witch and asked her to contact the dead to know the future. And that is NOT what Catholic’s or any other denominations that aren’t protestant who ask saints to pray for them are doing.

  • The Holy Spirit Spoke to Me

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    One night I prayed to Saint Joseph the step father of Jesus and asked also asked God for protection, then I laid down for a little while. I heard the following bible verse in my spirit: “Jesus is my strength and my shield.” After I heard that I immediately got up and went to my computer to look up the verse. The verse is Psalm 28:7, and it said, “The Lord is my strength and my shield.” The only thing that was different was God’s title. But Jesus was God on earth, He is God incarnate and He is God resurrected from the dead.

    What other god sacrificed himself for people because he wants to be with them in heaven? What other god changed the world so much? What other god is continually healing and providing? What other god is constantly is creating? What other god loves you and only wants the best for you? What god gives you peace? What god calls you, his child? What other god rose from the dead after being dead for three days? I have studied a lot of different religions, and I can’t ever remember reading about any other god but God of the Christians calls people His children and loves them. Not in Hinduism, not in Buddhism, not in Islam, not in Greek mythology not Egyptian in mythology No other gods loves us like the Father God.

  • Hosea’s Heart

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    I have given to Hosea’s Heart in Africa off and on throughout the years. It’s an organization that helps exploited children. It’s a home and school for vulnerable children who have been sex trafficked. It is operated and was started by a woman who is from the U.S and now lives in Africa.

    I had been going to both an evangelical free and non-denominational Christian for a while, and I had an animosity towards the Catholic church after I was baptized for the second time in the evangelical free church. During the pandemic God kept drawing me back to the Catholic Faith, but I kept leaving. I got so frustrated with the evangelical free and non-denominational church once all the churches opened up again after lockdown. They never brought back the Saturday night service and that made me really angry. I thought to myself ” well the Catholic church still has Saturday night services, why can’t the other church?” It didn’t make any sense to me.

    During the pandemic I watched church online. While watching church online, the two churches I had attended didn’t have Saturday night services live online. I found Gateway Church, a megachurch out of Texas and they had live services on Saturday night. I liked it except the pastor Robert Mrris was constantly talking about money. That was a huge turn off. Then in June of 2024 there was a scandal involving Robert Morris. When I found out that he had molested a twelve-year-old girl until she was seventeen-years old I felt physically ill. I didn’t want anything to do with Christianity after that.

    Then in the end August early September 2024 I got covid. One night I had been watching YouTube, and someone was talking about Jesus’ Mother Mary on a podcast. I don’t remember what was said or what the podcast was. That night I prayed my usual three Our Father’s and Glory be prayers and I decided to pray the Hail Mary prayer 3 times also. I laid down to go to sleep and all of the sudden I thought of Hosea’s Heart Organization, so I prayed for the organization. Then I sensed Jesus standing by the right side of my bed and I heard the words, “I am going to give her a book.” (I hadn’t heard Jesus speak to me in years) I asked Jesus, “what kind of book?” but I didn’t get an answer. Then I thought maybe Jesus was telling me to donate to Hosea’s Heart in case the owner wanted a book and she couldn’t afford one right now. I thought to myself, “I will make a donation in the morning” and tried to fall asleep because it was very early in the morning. I still couldn’t sleep and after I laid in bed a couple hours, I got up and made a small donation because it felt like I should and God wasn’t going to let me sleep until I did it, then finally I fell asleep.

    I contacted Hosea’s Heart and wrote an email the next day explaining what I heard from Jesus and I wrote I know it sounds crazy. Then I called the number on the website the next day and left a message. I felt like a fool.

    Someone called me from Hosea’s Heart and when I heard from the woman on the phone that they didn’t think it was crazy and they hear things like that often. I was relieved. Then the person I talked told me the owner was working on her second book. I had no idea she was a writer, and I had no idea she had published a book either. I was very surprised.

    The key for me to hear the voice of Jesus is praying to Mary after almost ten years of refusing to do so.

    All I can say is God works in mysterious ways.

    http://www.hoseasheart.org

  • Jesus is Our Savior and Like a Big Brother

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    I get anxiety attacks driving because I hit a steel power pole head on in December of 2010 while driving home after work one night. It was 10:30 pm when the roads were icy and the road hadn’t been salted yet and it was freezing rain. It was scary losing control of my car. As soon as I saw I was headed for the power pole I said to God, “I guess I am ready.” I was sure I was going to die, but God wasn’t through with yet. But from then on, I didn’t think I was a very good driver because of the accident.

    My car was totaled, and I was bleeding on my cheek a little bit, but other than being shook up I was fine. I took a taxi home, and I saw cars in the ditch on the highway. My car was a total loss since the air bags had deployed, and I am sure the front end of the car was in bad shape too.

    Then I couldn’t drive for six months much because I sprained my right ankle when falling down the stairs in October of 2021 I ended up with a terrible case of sciatica on the left side of my lower back, hip, and leg. I had to walk on my sprained ankle because i couldn’t put weight on my other leg. I felt like I needed to practice driving after I started driving again, so went out with a friend a couple of times.

    My car was totaled, and I was bleeding on my cheek a little bit, but other than being shook up I was fine. I took a taxi home, and I saw cars in the ditch on the highway. My car was a total loss since the air bags had deployed, and I am sure the front end of the car was in bad shape too.

    Ever since I had anxiety as a teen, the car accident, the pandemic, and falling down the stairs and hurting myself I have hated driving because of the anxiety I feel. I have asked God to take my anxiety away again like He did in 1987, but it hasn’t happened yet. I still pray for it though.

    God healed me of anxiety when I was 22 years old. I didn’t drive before that because of anxiety attacks. Then one morning in December of 1987, when I was getting ready for work something happened. I was standing at the foot of the stairs after taking a shower, and I looked up and all I saw was white light. I looked down and then looked up again and then I could see the stairs again. It happened in a split second. After that happened, I started feeling God’s peace that would start at the top of my head and wash over my body until it went down to my toes. Like God was pouring out His Holy Spirit over me.

    My seasonal job had ended, and I could not collect unemployment because the man I talked to on the phone denied my claim. When I explained to him, I didn’t drive and had to depend on rides because there wasn’t any public transportation where I lived. He told me to get my driver’s license. I was really scared and didn’t know what I was going to do so I prayed. God answered that prayer in a big way, I got my driver’s license 3 months later.

    While watching a pastor talk about fear and being afraid, he said something that really comforted me. He said Jesus is our big brother and we are all his little sisters and brothers, and when we are afraid, we should ask him to help us. What the pastor said has got to be one of the best things I have heard about getting over anxiety and being afraid. Jesus said we are his brothers and sisters, but I never thought of him as a big brother. I lost my only big brother to suicide when I was 21 years old and I have wondered what he would be like if he was still alive. I have Jesus as a big brother now, and I have the best big brother a sister could ever ask for.

  • The Way, The Truth, and the Life

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    When I was a little kid, my family went to the catholic church every Saturday night. We always sat in the front of the church three rows back on the left side. That was our spot. I didn’t like sitting up front because I was very shy.  I must have been about four years old when the priest got mad in church. I never forgot it either, still to this day I can see the look of rage on his face. Some kid was making noise in church, and the priest came down and was standing in front of us, and suddenly yelled, “Children are to be seen and not heard!”  It scared to me to death, and I was afraid of him after that happened. Thank God my parents didn’t make a big deal about my first communion.

    Maybe the reason why I ignored God throughout my younger years had something to do with that priest. I had no concept of God, and I am not sure why. I never prayed or talked to God. My mom told me when I was in first or second grade, I was asked to say grace before a meal I started out with “I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America” then everyone laughed.

    Learning to pray has been a process for me. I remember being in catechism with the nuns during church summer school for a week we had to memorize the Lord’s Prayer, Hail Mary and the Glory Be prayers. I didn’t know what I was saying, I was just repeating the words without any meaning behind them. They never explained why we had to pray or what they meant. we just had to memorize the prayers. I really wish someone would have explained what the prayers meant.

    One good thing about summer school with the nuns was I learned about heaven. I think that is the only thing I learned. One of my classmates asked one of the nicer nuns if she could see Elvis in heaven and the nun said, yes and you can see anyone in heaven. I thought heaven sounded nice. As a teenager I started reading books about near-death experiences. In high school I remember reading Raymond Moody’s Life After Life book, and I found it fascinating. One book called My Glimpse of Eternity written by Betty Maltz who was clinically dead for 30 minutes was a good one. In the book she described heaven like the book of Revelation describes heaven.

    There is life after death, and we all make the choice if we are going to heaven or hell. If you accept Jesus as your savior, ask to be forgiven and repent, you are on your way to heaven. Like God told Moses and the Israelites, “I put before you a choice between life and death, between a blessing and a curse, chose life.” And Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life.